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I READ THE BOOK.

NOW WHAT?

YOU DON’T HAVE TO

FIGURE THIS OUT ALONE

The stories in Wisdom From Our Scars remind us that no matter what you’re facing, God is with you—and there are people and resources ready to help you take the next step.

WHAT DO YOU NEED RIGHT NOW?

Choose the area below that best fits what you’re looking for. You’ll find trusted resources, practical next steps, and real people who can help.

I want to start a scars group

I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO.

I NEED HELP WITH SOMETHING I'M FACING.

I WANT TO GROW IN MY FAITH.

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You’re not alone. Talking with a trusted Christian can make a real difference. Contact us below. We are here to help.
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CHRISTIAN COUNSELING

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PASTOR OR TRUSTED LEADER

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MEN'S MINISTRIES NEAR YOU

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YOUR NEXT CHAPTER

CAN BE DIFFERENT.

The same God who met these 45 men in their struggles is ready to meet you. Take the next step-there is hope, help, and a community of men who care.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WALK ALONE.

Real Men. Real Stories. Real Brotherhood.

Maybe you just finished reading Wisdom From Our Scars.

Perhaps one of the stories hit closer to home than you expected.

Maybe you recognized your own struggles, mistakes, disappointments, or wounds in another man’s story.

And perhaps you’re wondering, “Who can I talk to about this?”

Here’s something we’ve learned through years of ministry to men:

Every man needs other men in his life.

Men who will listen without judging. Men who will challenge him when necessary. Men who will pray with him, encourage him, and remind him of God’s truth.

You don’t have to wait for someone else to organize a men’s group.

You can take the first step.

And it’s easier than you might think.

 

START WITH TWO OR THREE OTHER MEN

You don’t need a crowd. You need a few men willing to be real.

Think about the men already in your life.

  • A friend from church.
  • A coworker you trust.
  • A brother, cousin, or longtime friend.
  • Someone from your men’s ministry or Bible study.
  • An older Christian man you respect.
  • Another man who might be going through a difficult season.

You don’t need ten or twenty men. In fact that is too many.

Start with three or four, including yourself.

Choose men who are willing to grow in their faith and encourage one another.

And don’t overlook the value of inviting an older man. Sometimes the wisdom of someone who has already walked through life’s challenges can make all the difference.

Not sure how to invite them?

Keep it simple.

You could say:

“I recently read a book called Wisdom From Our Scars. It’s 45 stories from Christian leaders who share some of the hardest things they’ve experienced and what God taught them through those struggles.

“It made me realize how important it is for men to have other men they can be real with.

“I’m thinking about getting three or four guys together to read a few chapters, talk about them, and encourage one another. Nothing formal. Would you be interested?”

That’s it. You don’t have to have all the answers. Just be willing to get started.

 

MAKE IT SIMPLE

You don’t need to create another complicated commitment.

Here is a simple way to begin.

1. Find three or four men.

Invite men you trust and who are willing to encourage one another.

2. Choose a place to meet.

A coffee shop, someone’s living room, a church meeting room, or even breakfast at a local restaurant.

Choose somewhere comfortable and private enough for honest conversation.

3. Set a regular time.

Once a week or every other week works well.

Plan on approximately 60–75 minutes together.

4. Choose a chapter from Wisdom From Our Scars.

You don’t have to read the book in order.

Perhaps your group wants to discuss fatherhood, marriage, addiction, forgiveness, identity, or one of the other 15 major themes.

Choose a chapter that speaks to what the men in your group are experiencing.

5. Use the free Discussion Guide.

We’ve created a companion Discussion Guide with questions for all 45 chapters.

The questions are designed to help men move beyond simply discussing the story and begin talking about their own lives.

You don’t need to be a Bible scholar or trained facilitator.

Just read the story, ask the questions, and let the conversation begin.

[DOWNLOAD THE FREE DISCUSSION GUIDE]

 

WHAT DOES A GROUP MEETING LOOK LIKE?

Here’s a simple 60-minute format.

FIRST 10 MINUTES — CONNECT

Grab some coffee. Catch up.

Ask a simple question:

“How has your week been? What’s something you’re dealing with right now?”

NEXT 10 MINUTES — DISCUSS THE STORY

Have everyone read the chapter before the meeting.

Ask:

  • What stood out to you in this man’s story?
  • What surprised you?
  • Where did you see God working in his life?

NEXT 25 MINUTES — MAKE IT PERSONAL

Open the downloadable Discussion Guide.

Choose three to five questions from the chapter.

Don’t rush through them.

The goal isn’t to finish every question. The goal is to create a place where men feel comfortable being honest.

Sometimes the most important conversation happens when someone says:

“I’ve never told anyone this before.”

When that happens, listen. Don’t interrupt. Don’t immediately try to fix the problem.

Sometimes a man simply needs to know that someone cares.

FINAL 15 MINUTES — ENCOURAGE AND PRAY

Ask each man:

“What’s one thing you’re taking away from our conversation?”

Then:

“How can we pray for you this week?”

Close in prayer.

And before leaving, confirm when you’ll meet again.

 

FIVE COMMITMENTS THAT BUILD REAL BROTHERHOOD

Before your first meeting, agree on a few simple commitments.

1. What’s shared here stays here.

Men need to know their personal stories won’t become someone else’s conversation.

Respect confidentiality, while recognizing that serious safety concerns may require getting appropriate help.

2. No pretending.

Nobody has to act like he has everything figured out.

We all have struggles. We all have scars.

3. Listen before giving advice.

Don’t rush to fix another man’s problems.

Sometimes listening is the most valuable gift you can give.

4. Encourage, don’t condemn.

Speak truth with grace.

We want to help one another become more like Christ, not make someone feel worse about his past.

5. Keep showing up.

Brotherhood isn’t built in one meeting.

It’s built through consistency, trust, prayer, and walking together through life’s challenges.

Important: Your group is a place for encouragement and spiritual growth, not a substitute for professional counseling, addiction treatment, or crisis care. Don’t pressure anyone to disclose painful experiences. If someone shares that he or another person is in danger, seek appropriate professional or emergency help.

 

YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHARE YOUR SCARS ALL AT ONCE.

Trust takes time.

Some men will open up quickly.

Others may take weeks or months before they feel comfortable sharing something personal.

That’s okay.

Don’t force vulnerability.

Instead, create an environment where men know they are accepted, respected, and encouraged.

As relationships grow, you may discover that the stories in Wisdom From Our Scars become the starting point for sharing your own.

And that’s when something powerful can happen.

One man’s honesty gives another man permission to be honest.

 

DON’T KNOW ANY MEN TO INVITE?

Start with your local church.

Talk with your pastor or men’s ministry leader.

Tell him you’re looking for a few men who want to grow together using Wisdom From Our Scars.

Ask whether your church already has a men’s small group you could join or whether someone could help you start one.

If you’re not currently attending a church, finding a healthy, Bible-believing local church is a great place to begin.

The National Coalition of Ministries to Men (NCMM) is a network of ministries dedicated to helping men grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ.

Our hope is that this network will increasingly help connect men with ministries, resources, and opportunities for genuine brotherhood.

[EXPLORE MEN’S MINISTRY RESOURCES]

 

YOUR SCARS MAY BECOME SOMEONE ELSE’S HOPE.

Think about the 45 men who contributed to Wisdom From Our Scars.

Their stories aren’t powerful because their lives were perfect.

They’re powerful because these men were willing to be honest about their struggles and share what God taught them.

Now imagine what could happen if three or four men in your church or community began doing the same thing.

A friendship could deepen.

A struggling man might finally ask for help.

A marriage might begin to heal.

A young man might find the mentor he’s been praying for.

And perhaps one day, someone will look back and say:

“I didn’t have to walk through that season alone, because another man was willing to walk with me.”

You don’t have to change the world.

Start with one invitation.

TAKE YOUR FIRST STEP TODAY.

[DOWNLOAD THE DISCUSSION GUIDE]

[EXPLORE THE 45 STORIES]

[FIND MORE MEN’S MINISTRY RESOURCES]

Wisdom From Our Scars — Real Stories. Real Struggles. Real Hope.

A ministry initiative of the National Coalition of Ministries to Men.